Buy the Shirt, Buy the Jeans

Body image has been an area in my life where I have constantly struggled. I’ve struggled in childhood. I’ve struggled in the teen years. I’ve struggled in my college years. I’ve struggled in adult life. I’ve struggled between pregnancies. And recently, I’ve been struggling the most I ever have. Within the past three years I’ve gone up two shirt sizes, I’ve gone up three pant sizes and I weigh more than I did during each of my five pregnancies. I’ve left stores time and time again in tears, feeling absolutely defeated. Refusing to buy myself clothing because of the number, because of the size. And then going home, only to feel depressed trying to squeeze into the same ‘ol clothing telling myself I will magically lose the weight overnight. Telling myself I will only be deserving of buying new clothing once the weight is gone; once I am back to ‘XYZ’ size.

Recently, I went shopping with my oldest daughter. We were both so excited to venture to the mall! Before we walked into the first store, no joke I said a little prayer in my head asking God to please be with me; please be nice me… and to my surprise I finally found a sweater AND a pair of jeans that felt good on my body! Sometimes finding something that feels flattering on your own body is half the battle.

But that evening, I finally came to peace with where I was at. I did not let the size of the sweater or the number on the pair of jeans bring me down. This is not always an easy feat. Each day can be a battle. But I decided to meet myself with where I am right now. For the first time in a long while, I smiled in that damn mirror with confidence, with a genuine smile and with tears in my eyes!

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So, here is some encouragement to find a piece of clothing that makes you feel good and helps you feel good with where you are at RIGHT NOW. And give yourself permission to wear and buy clothing that feels flattering on your body RIGHT NOW. I am here to tell you; skinny jeans are still life over here in my book! Anyway, go buy the shirt, go buy the jeans and screw the number and screw the size!  And better yet, buy the shirt in multiple colors (like I did)! You are worthy, you are deserving, you are loved!

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